Flashback II .......
More on Makkah (from June '03):Subhan’Allah, I looked up at the sky, the heavens above me, and the only thought that came to me, was just this, Glory be To Allah, the creator of the heavens and the earth. I looked up to witness a wonder that only He, subhana wa ta ala, could create. As the black sky turned to purple, pink, orange, and eventually blue, I could not help but feel amazed. My thoughts drifted as I heard the birds sing these same praises that I had just begun to take in, these birds followed the commandment of Allah as they too made tawaaf around His House, the Kabbah. Suddenly all of my senses were heightened, beneath me my feet touched the cool marble, and my hand was grasped by one of my best friends. As I was circling the Kabbah in my first tawaaf after Fajr during my first Umrah, I could not help but feel humbled. Here I was at the House of not only my Creator, but the Creator of the Universe, and I was blessed to be here with both my family and my best friend. Subhan’Allah what other journey could one take with such a close companion? I continued circling the Kabbah, repeating to myself, “Rabbana atayna fid dunya hassanatow wafil akhiratee hassanatow wakina azaabin-naar (Our Lord! grant us good in this world and the Hereafter and save us from the punishment of the fire)”. After completing the seventh round around the Kabbah standing in front of the doors to the Kabbah, the doors to the House of Allah, the doors to my mercy, I offered two rakat. As I was praying suddenly all of those wonders I had witnessed just moments ago, disappeared, suddenly no other thought crossed my mind. Before going to the Makkah I had made a list of things I would make dua for, but suddenly everything seemed so trivial. Here I was, facing the doors to the House of my Lord, my body was numb and still, yet a part of me trembled, trembled like it had never trembled before, with each heartbeat I began to weep. For the first time I had tasted the sweetness of salah. Nothing else in the world could have distracted my prayer; I realized that during this moment, the only connection I had was with my Lord. My sujood was no longer seconds long, but lasted for minutes. Here I was, I could ask for anything in the world, but what did I ask my lord for? His mercy. Knowledge. Patience. After completing my salah, I jus sat in front of the Kabbah, offering the only thing I could to Allah, my tears.
Days passed, and eventually I returned home, and though that June morning was still in my heart, it was never repeated. As much as I would try, I felt I could never re-create that moment. I assumed that the only way to get that kind of connection with Allah subhana wa ta ala was only possible at the Kabbah. Months passed, and the eve of Ramadan was upon me. As I was sitting in my brother-in-law’s kitchen making preparations for my sister’s upcoming wedding, I was overwhelmed with sadness. Here I was preparing for such a happy and auspicious occasion surrounded by my family, yet there was this emptiness within me. Ramadan was upon me, how would I react? As I sat there completely removed, I heard a faint sound, surprised I followed the sound into a bedroom, the only occupant besides myself being the television. The channel on was playing the very first tarawih prayer in Makkah, and the voice I had heard, was none other then Imaam Shuraim’s. I sat in front of the television, and suddenly a sea of emotions came upon me. I could smell the marble floor of the Kabbah as he recited the Quran, and suddenly there I was back in front of the doors to the Kabbah. Once again the tears began to fall, and once again was my heart filled with light. Subhan’Allah, was once again the only thought that crossed my mind. Eventually the tarawih prayer was over, yet my heart still had not been satisfied with what it was given. As I shut off the television, I couldn’t help but miss Makkah even more. My belief that this connection with Allah subhana wa ta ala could only be achieved through this holy city was once again strengthened. Sadly, I returned to my apartment in New York City .
The next night, the second tarawih prayer was upon me, and this time I was determined to make it to the Masjid, though I knew it could not possibly have the same affect on me as the Prayer from the Kabbah. The salah began, and the thoughts that I had held within me for months, suddenly melted and disappeared. The Imaam began to recite, and once again my heart began to tremble. My heart reached out to something beyond myself, and anything in the room, it reached out to something so intangible, that I could not help but feel suffocated. Then and there, I realized that it is not a place or person, that creates your connection with Allah subhana wa ta ala, but it is the His words, His guidance, the Quran that feeds you His love, His mercy, His Greatness. The only way to return this love, this thankfulness, is through a personal action, your worship of him. In a lecture some time ago, I once heard a speaker state, “If you want to talk to Allah subhana wa ta ala pray salah, and if you want Allah subhana wa ta ala to talk to you read the Quran”. Subhan’Allah never, since the beginning of time as we know it, has there been a greater interaction, then one between the servant and His Lord.
"O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of your slaves. My fate is in Your hands. Your judgment upon me is Your command. I ask you by every name You have taken for Yourself, revealed in Your Book, taught any of your creation or taken unto Yourself in the realm of the unknown, to make the Quran the spring of my heart, the light of my breast, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my despondency. "
posted by Iqra Bismi Rabbika @ 3:18 AM
Comments: 0
