Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Did anyone see this?


http://www.roadtoguantanamomovie.com/

If so...any comments?

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tests

assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah



Today some friends and I got together to prepare a little something for one of our friends that is getting married...In the process we took a break, which we are always good at alhamdulilah :), and ate and sat around and ended up talking more than working (go figure). We sat around and discussed normal girl things, the topic started on in-laws, went to cousin marriages, then made its way to weird marriages, compared to good marriages, talks about getting married too young, or too old, and then suddenly ended at child abuse/molestation/rape.

scary.

Somehow at my time at the Islamic Center many individuals approached me, both sisters and brothers (???) and told me about personal abuse stories, and i sat there absolutely shocked...

I didn't know why these people reached out to me, and frankly i had nooooooooooooooo idea what to say (especially to the brothers), most of the time I would refer them on to someone else...because i honestly would not even know where to begin. Twenty years later they seemed to be reliving the same pain, day after day after day. I would just look down at my hands, and think about how much these individuals went through, and still are going through. Tests come to us all in different shapes and forms, and some individuals subhanAllah are like the strongest people on earth because of the pain and hardships they've endured...often times not just once but numerous times...and then i begin to examine my own life. SubhanAllah why is that you are only grateful when you hear about calamities that fall on other individuals. I sit there and thank Allah for every blessing that has been bestowed on me, and protection from all the hardships that He subhana wa ta ala has saved me from, and somehow, once again, I wonder, what exactly made that individual go through these tests while i sit around and worry about....subhanAllah i can hardly think of a worry that I have today.

Often times i sit here and think that perhaps i am taking the easy way out in life...not that these individuals chose a path that allowed them to have hardships, but perhaps im doing something that is allowing me to live in the safety of my bubble. Or perhaps im doing nothing at all, which is the core of the problem.

Of course we shouldn't pray or hope for hardships, but perhaps we should take a closer look at our lives when everything seems at a standstill.

Allah subhana wa ta ala tests those that He loves and only tests them in their own capacity...
so are we amongst the loved ones?

(i pray that we are...)

wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

summer!!!

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

Too much time has passed since i last made a list...

thus i shall continue in this tradition.

This list is simply called "SUMMER":

1. Though we bought an AC for the apt we have not yet installed it...so we are boiling....even i am amazed at our laziness..
2. Muggy baby is super affectionate in the summer.
3. I eat less in the summer.
4. I have no friends in the summer.
5. I have the most amazing roommates ever mashaAllah :) (may Allah subhana wa ta ala bless and preserve them)
6. This wedding every weekend thing is getting kind of absurd...i havent seen my parents in forever :(
7. I looooooooooooove my masters program :) :) :)
8. Let's go Softballers :)
9. Black jilbabs are suprisingly still my number one attire of choice in the summer.
10. I haven't eaten as much icecream as i should be.
11. Jamba Juice !
12. Daily trips to Whole Food
13. Soy everything
14. Thursday afternoon dhikr sessions !
15. Maanu Jaanu, Ishy bishy bumbo, safah rani, minu tinu, hiyu piyu :)
16. ***** SECRET ******** :) (i know madddd shady)..but im trying to build suspense :)
17. not enough time in the park :(
18. late night discussions
19. possibly my last summer in NYC
20. more one on one time with the One and Only

my brain is kind of fried because i spend five hours straight in class, and i would reflect on the awesome things we do, however our prof makes us write reflections like 3 times each class, so im kinda reflectioned out..
however today we talked about the use of ebonics in the classroom...is it appropriate? is ebonics another language or a dialect? how do you encourage your kids to speak in 'standard' english?

interesting times :)

SubhanAllah to think that a year (and two months) from now I will potentially (inshaAllah) have my own class is kinda cool :)
I would looooooove to teach in an inner-city high school but i highly doubt my parents will be down with that idea..
so i may just have to hit up suburbia post graduation....

i just pray im in a place that i can benefit and that can benefit me ...
i've had the whole islamic school vs public school debate with myself (and others) and in the end i think i've decided that i want to teach in a public school...from my experience in teaching workshops in highschools i've realized that a lot of students have soooo many questions about islam, and they are so eager to have these issues addressed, and dont necessarily have the means to do so, that it would be very beneficial to have muslims in the public school system...

that ofcourse is my own personal view..
if anyone has their own please feel free to share..

until then..
take care..
make dua..
be happy...
wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

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Google..

assalamualiakum wa rahmatullah.

have you ever googled yourself?

well i just did ...and i came up with some sad sad things..MAD hate.
Most of the hate comes from the protest/teach-in we had at NYU
about the cartooons...

anyway sad times..

thus i suggest you all put fun nice things about me on the internet so i am no longer sad...lol jk :)

May Allah subhana wa ta ala protect and guide us.

wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

:)

Friday, June 16, 2006

cloud nine :)

assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah...

Today i went to a dhikr session at the Islamic Center with Shaykh Ahmed (we meet Thursday's after Asr- 6:15ish) and subhanAllah it was like that spiritual jump i needed. His bayaan was soooooooo on point mashaAllalh, he talked about Nisbah (spiritual attachment/significance/affinity) and if i tried to describe it i would do no justice to it. I liked one analogy he used when talking about muraqabah though...he said muraqabah is like spiritual medicine, whereas reading Quran, salawat, and istighfar are like vitamins, so don't just take vitamins and forget about the medicine in itself.

Just when i thought my day couldn't get anyyyyyy better, Shaykh Ahmed asks which sisters are in the room and when he found out i was there he said "Mufti Kamal sends his salaams to you".

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I am on cloud nine :) (alhamdulilah).

May Allah subhana wa ta ala increase our shuyukh :)

wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah...

Check it:

The Indispensability of Abundant Zikr and Muraqabah
for the Seeker - Translation of a talk given by Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad (damat barakatuhum)

http://www.tasawwuf.org/basics/muraqabah.htm

The first lesson in the esteemed Naqshbandi Silsilah is Latifa-e-Qalb. Upon this, the seeker traveling the spiritual path (salik) engages in the spiritual exercise of muraqabah, where he or she sets aside some private time to sit and reflect on Allah. In this exercise the salik strives to empty the heart of all thoughts and imagines the blessings and mercy of Allah entering the heart and erasing its darkness. As if in gratitude to being cleansed of darkness the heart joyfully calls out the Name of Allah over and over again… Allah! Allah! Allah!

A general scientific principle states that whenever a vacuum is created, something comes in to fill it and therefore the vacuum does not stay as is. Similarly when we sit and strive to remove all thoughts from our heart the aim is to create a void that will hopefully be filled with thoughts of Allah.

Darkness and light cannot coexist in the same space. Hence the more we strive to rid our hearts of filth, the hope is that divine light, goodness and blessing will enter to replace the darkness that was there. This is why it is extremely important to do muraqabah in abundance. Wherever in the Holy Quran we find the command to practice dhikr, the word is accompanied with the adjective signifying abundance (dhikr-e-kathir).

O you who believe! Celebrate the praises of Allah, and do this often [33:41]

What then is meant by abundant dhikr? At all times a person is either lying down, sitting or on his feet. Abundant dhikr refers to remembering Allah at all times in all these states.

To clarify this, the elders usually present the example of a man who falls ill and is running a high fever. Under this scenario his doctor prescribes antibiotics three times a day for seven days, so that it would take a total of 21 pills to cure the fever. Now, if this person breaks this sequence and has one pill every 3 days, even if he were to have a total of 22 his illness will not be cured.

Why then is the illness not cured even though the person takes more of the medication? Despite the accuracy of the diagnosis and the effectiveness of the medicine, it was not taken in the quantity prescribed by the physician and so the person remains ill. This indicates that quantity counts for a lot in some matters, especially here. Thus even if a patient skips a dose of his medication just one time, the doctor tells him to start the course again from the beginning for the sake of effectiveness.

Consequently, quantity in dhikr is absolutely crucial for a seeker on this path. A little dhikr does the seeker no benefit.

Little do they hold Allah in remembrance [4:142]

The result of this is;

(They are) distracted in mind even in the midst of it, being (sincerely) for neither one group nor for another whom Allah leaves straying, never wilt thou find for him the way [4:143]

A person whose dhikr is insufficient becomes a victim of doubt. He does not tread with confidence the path that leads him to his destination - his feet falter and he constantly changes direction. On the other hand, abundance of dhikr eliminates the darkness of the heart. It is thus that our elders tell us that the filth of thought (fikr) is only removed by the abundance of remembrance (dhikr).

How can a person tell whether a particular thought is inspired by Allah or the Devil (Shaitan)? Remembrance (dhikr) and piety (taqwa) reveal this distinction. The Holy Quran says Allah grants furqan to whoever has taqwa.

He will grant you a criterion (to judge between right and wrong) [8:29]

Furqan is the ability to distinguish between right and wrong, the insight that distinguishes between good and evil. While there may be no apparent basis for making this distinction, this internal light [1] allows a person to differentiate between righteousness and wickedness. This furqan is a blessing that Allah grants to those who engage in plentiful dhikr.

So we must strive to remember Allah lying down, sitting, and whenever we are on our feet. The hearts of the believers should be connected with their Lord in every situation until the very traces of sinfulness are erased from every vein and muscle of their bodies. Constant remembrance leads to spiritual connection (nisbah) to Allah, and cleanses a person completely when it permeates the body. Such a person submits his entire being to Allah and his life and death become only for Allah, and Allah does not let down a person who so completely gives himself up to Him. The Glory of Allah is His alone, and He never abandons the one who submits to Him, but rather protects His servant.

The basic rule for one who seeks to gain all this benefit is to engage in abundant dhikr, and this is one criterion that the majority of seekers fail to meet. They give bay'ah [2] and most of them even change their lifestyle and appearance, but fail to do sufficient dhikr. If they sit for muraqabah at all it only lasts five or ten minutes, and they fail to realize that Allah is not found through mere minutes of muraqabah! Even the world cannot be gained with just a few minutes of effort, so how can we expect to reach the Lord of the worlds by such a meager attempt?

It is commonly understood that if one wishes for a meeting with someone of importance, then he or she will have to wait in line for one's turn just because of the high rank and demand of the individual or party sought after. For example, people line up for hours and sometimes days for an audience with a famous movie or sports star just because of that individual's high status in society. Now if people are required to wait for a meeting with another human being, then surely a meeting with Allahthe Lord of the Worlds mandates a waiting period also. This waiting time is fulfilled through muraqabah.

A person who thus spends his life sitting with his head lowered yearning for a meeting with Allah , fulfills his waiting time on the Day of Judgment. Consequently the one who does not do this in the world will have to spend the necessary wait time in the Hereafter. But the wait time in the Hereafter is indeed grueling! Someone will have to stand in wait for a thousand years - someone for a thousand more.

Abundance in dhikr is so important that Allah ordained it upon His Prophets. Allahcommanded Prophet Musa:

Go, you and your brother, with My Signs, and slacken not either of you in keeping Me in remembrance [ 20:42 ]

Whenever our elders say or command something their words carry potency and weight. How incredibly important must dhikr be in our lives if Allah is issuing the command and on the receiving end are two prophets?

So if we want the love of the world and the darkness of sin to be erased from our hearts, the only way to achieve this is through abundant dhikr. Just like the earth is cleansed when rain falls upon it, hearts are purged when mercy rains down upon them through abundant dhikr.

Hadrat Shah Waliullah Muhaddith Dehlvi (may the mercy of Allah be upon him) has written that there are two ways in which the earth regains purity if there is filth upon it.

1. Water pours down in such abundance that the filth is completely washed away.
2. The sun shines down so intensely that all trace of filth is burned away.

Similarly, there are only two ways to attain purification of the heart. One way is to engage in so much dhikr that mercy rains down upon one's heart to such an extent that it eliminates the filth and cures the diseases of the heart. The other is to remain in the company of a righteous Shaykh and serve him, and like the sun the heart of the Shaykh shines its rays upon his heart. The resulting blessing (faidh) removes all signs of the filth and a person's heart is rendered pure.

Thus, we should be frequent and regular in our dhikr so that Allah grants us annihilation of the heart (fana-e-qalbi), a blessing attained after the heart is purified in which a person is forever occupied in the remembrance of his Lord. However, this does not mean that he always sits in prayer and forsakes all other responsibilities. Rather the opposite is true and he takes care of all his worldly and family responsibilities but with a constant awareness of and a deep connection with Allah.

The love of the world has taken over our hearts and we are constantly thinking about it! Even if we make the firm intention not to think about worldly affairs during prayer or throughout the day we cannot let go of these thoughts. This is called annihilation in the world (fana-fid-duniya). Today we are so absorbed in the world that despite our best efforts we are not able to rid our hearts of preoccupation with it. If only we would gain such a level of annihilation in Allah (fina-fillah) that we wouldn't be able to forget Him even if we tried. Such is the station that we aspire towards, and how pitiful is our present state! It is our prayer that Allah grants us this lofty station, so that our life is spent upon goodness and our feet remain firm on the path that leads us to Him. Ameen.

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[1] A saying of the Prophettells us “Beware of the insight of a believer, for he sees with the light (nur) of Allah”

[2] Students begin their spiritual journey by taking an oath (bay'ah) with a spiritual master (Shaykh). This oath entails seeking forgiveness from Allah for past sins and renewing a lifetime commitment to living according to the Holy Quran and the example (sunnah) of the Prophet. The Messenger took such pledges from many of his companions, and hence the act of bay'ah is classified by traditional scholars as a sunnah.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

argh

assalamualiakum wa rahmatullah......

Sometimes i wonder what has happend to people's hearts...
how can they pray numerous times a day, recite ayah after ayah of Quran
and then still carry around hard hearts...

How can they look at one another and assume who is higher in the sight of God, seriously though did they really rip open the person's chest and take a look deep down in their heart..

it really disgusts me to see so much pride and arrogance in people's actions that they elevate themselves to an untouchable state that everything they do is free of critique, yet everyones actions are put under a microscope..

It make me reflect on the story of Adam alayhi salam. Allah subhana wa ta ala crafted him out of dust and dirt and then brought him to life. It makes me think about how Iblis thought himself better than Adam alayhi salam because Iblis was made of fire and Adam of dust. This arrogance lead Iblis to believe that he was too great to even obey a command of Allah, the most high, the most great. This very arrogance lead Iblis from being one of Allah subhana wa ta ala's most beloved to ...Allah knows what...

Yet here we are, still making the same mistakes...I wonder if we too have made ourselves so so so so far from Allah subhana wa ta ala, thinking ourselves self sufficient..

Allah..
Allah..
Allah..

Theres something unique in the name of Allah that makes your heart at ease...Just say it...slowly... subhanAllah...its out of this world..

On a different note...

I've started my masters and I believe I am in the company of some of the most kind hearted individuals I have ever met in my life. There is only one Muslim besides myself in the program, yet I look at these individuals and i see Islam.

Theres something in the heart and eyes of an educator that is so selfless subhanAllah...for one thing you know they're not in it for the money :) So many people in my program have left the corporate world thats filled with so many aspects of the dunya and came to education. They talk about how they lacked spiritual and mental stimulation from the dunya and started on a journey to find themselves in the service of others, namely the youth.

i apologize for the ranting...
just a little bit of frustration ..

May Allah subhana wa ta ala guide and protect us..
and may He remind us day to day that we are no greater than the soil we walk upon, except that He subhana wa ta ala elevated us and that one day we will return to this very soil...

beace in the middle east..
wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

Sunday, June 04, 2006

A Car Ride..

assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah,

Last night I was driving home from my sisters place at around 2 AM back to my (parents') house. The car ride is just over an hour long, and this ride home was unique because a) it was so late, b) it was raining, and c) it was my first car ride after my friend's accident.

Let me back track a little...

Earlier this week one of my best friends called me and told me she got into a car accident earlier that morning. My first response was naturally to ask how she was, though I figured it seriously couldn't be that bad since she herself is talking to me on the phone. She told me she was okay, yet I was still a little nervous and wanted to see her so I jumped on the next train to her house. After getting there I realized the severity of the accident. She had been driving to get a dent in her car fixed (ironic) on a major 2 lane highway and was driving at about 70 mph in the left lane. She described the driving conditions and stated that the car in front of her was quite close, leaving virtually no space for another car to merge in. A car on her right signaled to come into the left lane, since there was no space, she assumed the car wouldn't turn, however he did. At this point in time she knew that if she braked she would most definitely hit him, and she couldn't swerve to the right since there were cars there, so she swerved to the left. There was no shoulder, and no barrier between the southbound side and the northbound side, however there was a grassy median in which her car spun out of control in, since she was going so fast one of her tires ripped off and the car spun out of control. At this point she described that she had no idea what she was doing so she continued to hit the accelerator, which caused her car to drive into oncoming traffic on the opposite side of the highway. She had no idea what to do, so she closed her eyes, assuming that she was going to die. She accounts that she started screaming "mummy", at the same time, while her eyes are closed still hitting the accelerator. The car came to a stop when she crashed into a van on the exit ramp. She then got out of the car, and saw dozens of individuals(men) who had stopped their cars and were rushing to her aid. Upon seeing that she was fine, they rushed to the van, where alhamdulilah the other passengers seemed to be doing well as well. The officer later told her that witnesses said that her car was air bound for a while, and that she was very very very lucky that she walked out of that accident with virtually nothing wrong with her minus a couple of bruises from the seat belt and airbag. The car was completely totaled and the body shop guy was also shocked that she walked off uninjured alhamdulilah.

Car accidents are a really scary reality. So many individuals i know have gotten in car accidents that have either lead to their death, or major injury. So many times people are blasting music and die with the words to some song on their lips. SubhanAllah this is one of the major reasons I have given up listening to music. Lets forget the permissibility issue for just a moment and think about how much time we spend in our cars. Statistics also show that accidents are the number one cause of death in young adults, so why have the angel of death greet you with eminem blasting in the background...

Back to my car ride...
I was listening to a CD i had in my car by Imaam Anwar al Awlaki on stories from Hadith. In the CD he was narrating a hadith the dealt with a man who passed away (I believe from bani israel...not sure) and when the angel of death greeted him he asked him(completely paraphrased), "have you ever done good in your life" and the man thought and thought, and could not think of a single good thing he did, however he stated, "I remember just one thing that I used to do, when I had a shop I would lend out goods to individuals, and I would allow the wealthy more time to absolve their debt, and I would forgive the debt of the poor". At this point Imaam anwar started to talk about the concept of justice, and how this man went far above and beyond the calls of justice. To be just would be to ask for the payment back in due time, however this man went and absolved the debt. He then began commenting on various forms of debt that we accumulate and began on the topic of backbiting. Subhan'Allah we all hear about backbiting and know that we shouldn't talk ill about people. However subhanAllah shaytan whispers in our ear at our most vulnerable of moments. I thought back to myself and the times that I have backbitten, and they were not times when I just sat around and had nothing better to do so I began talking about people. Rather I remember talking about individuals who angered me up until the point where i felt i had to say something to someone or else I'd explode. They were individuals who I felt had wronged me in some shape or form and I felt i needed some retribution...however what i ended up doing was sharing simple "accounts" of events with my family and friends that spoke negatively of certain individuals..in my head i justified this form of 'backbiting'. Sitting in the car all of these events came rushing back to me. At this point Imaam Anwar was discussing how Imaam Shafai (may Allah be pleased with him) sent fruits to a group of individuals who were backbiting about him and attached a note thanking them for their good deeds. Imaam Anwar narrated that when you backbite not only are you hoarding these messed up thoughts against individuals but you are giving them your good deeds, and if on the day of judgment you run out of these good deeds than you will accumulate this individuals bad deeds...

SubhanAllah...

anyway point being...i was kinda a bit shaken up knowing well that if i too were to get into an accident at this point in time i would have this burden lying upon me. At this point in the tape Imaam Anwar began to speak about tawbah, and how we can ask Allah subhana wa ta ala forgiveness for virtually anything and how Allah subhana wa ta ala will gladly and happily forgive us. However certain situations dealing with wrongdoing others have to be dealt directly. In the case of backbiting you have to ask the individual you backbit about for forgiveness directly, however if you believe that confronting them will lead to further animosity you may ask Allah to forgive this individual and make dua for them.

So at about 2:45 am driving down the LIE i thought about every person I could have possibly ever talked bad about and made some massive dua for them...

the door to tawbah is open up until the point the angel of death comes to greet you, or until the sun rises from the west and sets in the east..as imaam anwar narrates...so lets get on it kids :)

May Allah subhana wa ta ala forgive us for our shortcomings may He make us amongst those that He loves, and may He teach us to love one another for His sake...
Ameeen..

wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah.