thoughts
So im back...you know when there are two posts in one night...something must utterly be wrong, haha.
I've been told that most of my blog sounds like some psychotic depressed girl....and i guess that is what happens...who wants to sit in front of a computer during their happiest of hours..most certainly not me :)
So certain thoughts have been plaguing my mind since as far back as i can think (no not really that long, i just like to be semi-dramatic at times). The concept of "good" has been so morphed within my mind. Every time i sit back and do some self anaylyzing i realize how much i've changed. I don't even know when i began changing, or maybe i just never stopped changing. i guess its been an ongoing process...but then how come when i look back now i seem so ....different?
[This is probably as vague as vague gets, but im not a COMPLETE fan of putting every ounce of my heart and soul out on the world wide web for every Joe, Jack, and Mary to read, so i'll continue to be very vague, and if you know me, you are probably catching on just about now anyway.]
Change is good people say, and i agree, change can be amazing, But what happens when people around you, start looking at you with one eyebrow raised. Then what. Are you doing something completely and utterly out of line? Have you changed? Have they changed? What happens when the lines between good and bad become blurred.....that before you know it, at one point u were here in "good" and then all of a sudden you are amidst "bad". It is said that experience is one of the best teachers, then what if, despite what everyone says, your experience and your gut instincts tell you what you're doing is a-okay.
Whoa....reading that I am starting to confuse even myself. SubhanAllah when i stop and really think about everything I've just written, I think certain things most definately become prevalent. The human heart and mind, are so ....feeble. Judgement can so easily be changed on a whim. It really makes you realize how weak you really are, and how much you really rely on individuals and beings greater then yourself. Perhaps when people look at you with one raised eyebrow you should be concerned. When you start making excuses for things that were so simple and clear, perhaps your judgement is clouded, or rather, blinded.
Its amazing the amount of emphasis that is placed on reason in this society. But most times I find that reason only gets me in more trouble. Hah. I'm all about the heart. When somethings wrong you feel it, first and foremost, in your heart. After a while your brain can begin to reason just about anything.
SubhanAllah i apologize for the lack of coherance in this writing ..
beace.
wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah
posted by Iqra Bismi Rabbika @ 2:03 AM
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