Dirty nafs ...
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah,I guess you can assume this is a continuation of the last post...
For the past week or so I have been in the suburbs of Chicago, and subhan'Allah after just a couple of days here I have realized and actually somewhat materialized something that I have always known, I need to work on myself...hardcore.
Some time ago, last January to be exact, I had come to Chicago and had heard Shaykh Husain for the first time at his weekly dhikr session. That day he told us an example of a freshly painted wall. A couple of days prior to the dhikr session he had painted a wall in his house, after painting and purifying that wall, he said he would throughout the day find himself glancing at the wall to make sure no scuffs had appeared, and if even the smallest of spots had occured he would walk on over and try to remove it as soon as possible. He then went on to give an example of shoes. Being Muslim Masjid goers, I think many of us can relate to this example. Often times when you leave your shoes by the door near the Masjid on your way out when your attempting to find your shoes in the mass left by the door, you notice other shoes. Newer, cleaner, shinier shoes. Next to those shoes, the shoes you would have normally assumed to be perfectly fine seem old, and worn out. You only come this realization, however, when your shoes are directly placed next to these newer, nicer shoes. And as you're walking out the masjid you're like man I need to get new shoes, or atleast clean these up. He went on to relate the same deal with a dirty car parked next to a new one. You could be driving around aaaaaaaaaaallll day, but only when you park your car next this newly washed car do you really realize that your car needs a car wash :)
Moral of the story? Subhan'Allah our hearts are the sameeeeeeeeee way! You may thinkkkk that your heart and deen is in a perfectly okay state, until you are in the presence of the purest of pure hearts. All of a sudden you look down and start revaluating your own heart, perhaps its not as clean as you imagined it to be. Unlike shoes, we can't simply dispose of our hearts and purchase new ones. You then realize you need to seriously cleanse your heart, the dirt of the dunya and sin becomes so apparent that you can't stand one more moment with it. Subhan'Allah and all of our goals is to become that freshly painted wall. So clean, that even the slightest sin, or blemish will easily be detected and removed.
How does this relate to Chicago? Every single day I've been here I have been in the presence of the most amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing people masha'Allah. I have had the opportunity to sit in study circles almost every day, and it has made me realize that I am in desperate need of a spiritual makeover so to speak :) But subhan'Allah just being in the presence of these individuals just makes my heart so content, my heart literally like reaches out to them and just wants to cling on for dear life, not wanting to return to its pathetic state...
May Allah subhana wa ta ala continue to fill our scholars with light, and may he forgive us for the sins we commit both openly and in private, sins that we commit knowingly, and unknowingly. May he forgive us of our past sins, our present sins, and the sins that we will commit in the future. May he forgive the sins of our parents, and may he purify our hearts and fill it with His Nur and His Love.
wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah.
posted by Iqra Bismi Rabbika @ 2:16 AM
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