Tuesday, January 03, 2006

shaadi

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah,

So one of my best friends got married yesterday in Pakistan :) She sent me an email this morning that completely made my day:

Hola, coma estas???
I havne't been able to check facebook yet, but i know you wrote me something nikah-related..............anyway, so yes, I'm officially maaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiieeeeeeed!
Ah.
So yes, how was your new year??? We werent' even aware of it, because we were so busy with the tayyaarian that it was like, oh yeah, happy 2006.
Maheeeeeen, i miss you, sooooooooooo wish you had been here yesterday....keep me in your duas (i keep you in mine), let me know what you want from Pakistan, and inshaAllah i'll see you in about two weeks.
So much love, it's bursting out of my heart,
Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.



:) OFFICIALLY MARRIED :) subhanAllah...what a huge huge step that I don't think i've quite been able to fathom. So it seems one by one, each and every one of my friends seems to be biting the dust, and getting married :). So far its three but i know this is going to have a snowball effect and sooner then later, they'll all be maaaaaaaaarriiiiiiiiiieeeeddd.

So everyone says life changes after marriage, friends are no longer the numero uno priority in your life and they actually begin to fade into the background, actually for the first year or so everything seems to fade into the background, or so i am told.

thats pretty intense yo. First of all theres this dude that you have to spend the rest of your life with, and then he takes up the whole forefront of your life...

its interesting because i read somewhere, or heard somewhere, or something...that marriage is a contract granted by Allah subhana wa ta ala, it brings together two strangers, who before this event had no relationship what so ever to one another and gives them, arguably, the strongest relationship that exists in the dunya...intense no?


Here's the famous ayah that all of us have seen printed in every wedding invitation under the sun :

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect. [ Quran 30:21 ]

Okay completelly random tangent, last night one of these kids that i've grown up with, who in my eyes will always be four, but mashaAllah is now in 9th grade (which makes him what 14-15?) imed me, rather his brother (my childhood best friend) imed me first with the statement "my brother has questions about Islam"

So I'm thinking to myself "uh.....", quickly i run through some scenarios in my mind on what he could be asking me...often times i have had to answer questions from girls his age during MYNA, summer camps, Masjid, youth groups, and at this public school in my local town, so i knew the question could range in anything from gender relations to the halalness of a whopper...so after a solid four minutes im like, 'well inshaAllah i can try....."

seconds later he (who in my eyes is FOUR lol) posts this huge question :


ME: lol what are u doing awake
at 330

HIM: confusedd

ME: about?

HIM: okay, well, i have a problem, i dont know if its something major, but
me and my brother had a good 2 hour discussion on it

ME: wow
whats up

HIM: Islam Vs. Confucianism --my brother sided with believing in Islam only, I
sided with believing in Islam and other moral philosophies
(Confucianism)
okay, confucianism is ALL about respect/good will/moral
islam is too, correct?

ME: yea
so you have to understand that islam is complete, and it encompasses
all of these
all the good you find in other religions already exists within islam
whereas all the good that is in islam, is not usually found in other religions

HIM: yea
but like, before I make a decision, i think whether if Allah will
accept it, and if Confucianism will accept it. since i believe in
moral/good will/respect nowadays, i mainly credit confucianism for it,
not islam, because confucius states everything on respect, whereas
islam gives the major basics and some minor, so is it wrong to say I
believe in Confucian Philosophies, but not credit islam for it while
still following islam, butttt, the problem is that even though islam
and confucianism hold the same
philosophies, i credit me following those philosophies to confucius,
not islam, is that wrong?
like if someone were to say, "what are your moral philosophies on?" i
would say, "confucianism", not "islam"
thats wrong?

ME; well... islam is complete
you dont have to look else where
if you read
about the life of the Prophet saw
and i have this amazing book
with hadith
its called the shamail tirmidhi
if you read that
you will see
how complete islam is
due to the life of this one person
he respected everyone
slaves, women, old, young, rich, poor
and not many people can attest to that
also confucianism is not complete
and that is its biggest flaw
it tells you to eb nice to your parents
but does it tell you how?
or why?

HIM: no, not really

ME: exactlyu
but we, in our hadith
we have all of these examples

HIM: i see

ME: today
ask anyone
about any aspect of the Prophet saw's life
theyll know it
they can tell you how he ate, how he sat, how he talked, how he
walked, how he even went to the bathroom
no one can tell yhou this abut confucian
and this is becacuse
of the respect that he had of everyone
because of his morality to all of mankind

HIM: but like, if u look at it now, more ppl are affected by confucius's
words that islam holds than what islam says on what confucius says.
like, i read that 98% of japanese in japan cant turn down requests
cause of confucianism, but in somewhere in the middle east, anyone can
be rude

ME: no way
go up to
any muslim
anywhere in the world
without knowing them
and say salaam to them
what will they do
they'll say wa alaikum assalam
and think about those words
what do they mean
they mean 'peace be upon you'

HIM: but do they meann it?

ME: so in essence when ever u come in contact with a muslim
they are wishing peace upon you

HIM: but their intention can be different

ME: its not up to us to measure intentions
no one will know whats in anyones heart
but
Allah go to any person who follows confucious
u say he had sucha good moral code right
were there poor people in his society?

HIM;yaaa

ME: ofcourse there wer
look at the rasool saw
and his example with
with umar, he was so just, under the rule of islam, that they went out to give
the zakat to a poor person
and they could nto find one poor person in the entire empire
that empire stretched from
north africa
to persia

HIM: ooooo
ME:thats MUCh bigger then japan
and this is morality
morality as in practie
not just in saying
this is what islam is
i see
its not just about being nice to someone
its practicing it
with our wealth, with our tongue
with our actions

HIM: okay, im afraid that i start to look for confucianism for answers of
right and wrong than islam, howw do i change that? i want that change
fast and quick before i keep getting gunnah
3:35 AM

ME: read about confucianism
but also know this
that before the Prophet salalahualayhi wa salam
there were thousands of prophets
not just those that were named in the Quran
so Allah knows best, but confucious could have been a prophet

i can guarantee you any good that you find in confucianism is in islam
so if u want to study confucianism go ahead, but also take the time to
look into islam,and you will see that islam has this and more

i can give you books if you want as well

HIM: thats the thinngg, is it wrong to credit confucius for the motivation
of my good willl and decision-making?

ME: thank Allah
who created confucious

HIM: and think of what is Allah would think alongside of what confucius would say?
no no
theres ntohing wrong

HIM: lol, but, thats that im confused on -- thanking confucious for my good
will or Allah

ME: thank Allah
Allah created you
and him
and everyone
he guides people

HIM: but in general
do u think its wrong?

ME: as long as you are doing good
know it is from Allah
and i think that its okay for you to think this way
but i think it also shows you
that you should read more

HIM: cause before i decide, i think if confucius would accept it and Allah

ME: about the Prophet saw
because you will realize
he had a far greater moral system
then confucian
ill get you some books if you want
think about it this way
the prophet lived in a time when everyone around him

HIM: sounds good, lol, and im willing to read books on it

ME: worshipped idols
buried baby girls alive
did all these jahil things
and because of ONE man
they ALL changed
all of saudi arabia
and beyond

HIM: but confucius lived before the prophet (saw), and he had no say on God(s)

ME: yea but
are his repercussions as great?
no way..

HIM: nopee

ME: so you have to think about
WHY,
WHY did these people love this man so much
why did Musab give up all his wealth to go and follow this man
and when you go
and read about Muhammad, peace be upon him
you'll realize
i'll give you some books


HIM: OMG ur soo right, musab gave up his wealth for islam!! no one did that
for confucianism1

ME: musab gave up his LIFE for islam
not just his wealth


Anyway ...that was the jist of the conversation...subhanAllah i was amazed at the thought process of this 'kid', and he kind of caught me off guard at three in the morning...if any of you guys can think of anything else that i may have left out be sure to let me know inshaAllah.

I had a point with putting this conversation up here..
i think it was relationships....and how the Prophet salalahualalyhi wa salam set the benchmark for every relationship we are to have, including marriage....

subhanAllah imaaaaaaaagine having a blessed marriage such as that of the Rasool salalahualayhi wa salam's and Khadija (ra) or Aaisha (ra)...

anyway i think im losing my thought processes lol so i'll edit this later or something..
until then
duas
duas
duas ...

:)

wassalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

ps--samish see not ALL my posts are psycho girl posts :) okay maybe all minus one ;)